A Purpose Driven Life

All is Done In His Good, For Ours.........

Having to accept the fact that my body at the age of 32 will no longer be capable of bearing children is devastating to me. There are moments where I think I can deal with it and others when I feel as if I am going to completely fall a part. But in life what can you do? You have to accept things and find the best way to deal. I am grateful for my faith because without that I would be completely lost and without guidance. I don't expect everyone to understand or even agree with me but I know my plan on earth is bigger, my purpose greater, this is now my opportunity to tap into my inner self and blossom from there. I believe, do you?

What Are We Doing?

July 2016 Independence, MO

Just a Cali Girl living in a Midwest World

What Are We Doing?

I find myself these days trying to figure out what my purpose is on this earth. So much death and destruction, sadness and heartache, you can lose perspective very easy.  I feel as if I am in limbo. No matter how hard I try nothing ever really sticks. I always find myself in some aspect of my life having to start over again. All I have ever yearned for in my life was consistency and stability. I don't remember having that growing up as a child so I have always striven to accomplish that in my own right. I did so for 10  good years but the environment was all wrong. Sometimes having to lose it all or walking away from it is the best thing. To most I had the "ideal" situation, little did they know the real turmoil I felt inside. The one thing the last 2 years has taught me is the sheer will and determination I have to always land on my feet . Everything happens just as it is supposed to happen. Nothing happens without a true reason. There will be times when we all question that but we have to believe and have faith. There are so many things I myself wish I could rationalize but its simply not possible. I am always wondering what is the deal with me and people? Why is it so hard for me to maintain a friendship with someone? Is it because I have very low tolerance for bullshit or because I have a high expectation of what a friend actually is. I'm not asking anyone to prove themselves worthy of me, that is insane, I am not God. I simply ask to be treated and given the same courtesies that I give to another. What I will no longer do is waste another single  minute on anyone who does not understand what it means to be a decent human being let alone a friend. I will not hesitate to cut someone completely out of my life if they bring toxicity into it. I know I have trust issues, but in today's world who doesn't?  
Life is simply too short and precious to dwell on the what ifs, we have to just live. Living is the key to happiness. I know that sounds simple enough but for a long time I was merely existing and not living. I had to learn how to live again and everyday I learn a new way to appreciate the beauty around me.