Dear Self,
It's Okay to not be okay all the time. Life will always throw you for loops and you never know when they are coming. You have been through so much in your life and you should not be so hard on yourself. You have been hurt, burdened, broken down and shattered, but every single. time you got back up and regained your strength to pull through. You have lost things that can be replaced such as cars, homes, phones and other materialistic items. The loss that cannot ever be replaced are those that are not of the material value. Some human relationships need to be lost. That contact needs to be severed because of the toxicity surrounding it. But, there are those relationships that you needed and were taken from you in the most barbaric and hateful ways imaginable. Those are years you can never get back, joy you will never feel, and memories you will never have. All you can do is move forward as you have, as hard as it has been, and as long as it has taken for you to get to this healthy place you are in now. It's okay to not have close friends. Its a lonely place to be when you have regained all the material things you once lost but have no one to share it with. That hurts. It hurts more than people know. You scroll through your phone and have no one to call. The few people that you can call don't answer. You feel as if you are merely a Monday - Friday Friend and it hurts. It doesn't take long to realize who a person is and if you need them in your life. You are a born fighter. You have a sense about people immediately and you know when they are full of it. You may entertain their games for a minute, but you are smart and know better than to get even a millimeter closer. You are smart, bright, intelligent and beautiful. People envy who and what they do not understand. You. know your worth and you will not settle fro anything less than that. You put your all into everything that you do and if the powers that be don't see it, it is simply their loss. Do not feel afraid for you know that your God is with you. He has carried you through the times when walking was unimaginable, he stood beside you when your strength needed to shine, and he believed in you when you did not believe in your own abilities. Faith is the foundation upon which you stand beautiful young woman. God is your guide and Faith is your sight.
