Why Worry?

Learning to love this girl was and always will be a battle. When people ask me what I feel my "Purpose" is to do in this life, I simply reply with , "To Survive with resilience and dignity." Life is much to short to be worried about the contents of the next mans life. Prayer is the foundation on which I stand and if you're going to pray don't worry, and if you're going to worry don't pray." I know it's a lot easier said than done but when you live a faith driven life it's really just that simple. I myself am guilty of allowing the worry bug take over me, its only natural, but I do not let it consume me. For example, I was working a job that set goals , guidelines, and a timeframe in which conversions over to the actual company would be allotted. With great attendance, productivity, knowledge, and quality I was a for sure candidate once the hours required were met for consideration per this particular companies policies. The time came and passed yet I still hung on, waited, and continued to prove myself. I then began to wonder, worry and ask questions. I would periodically check in with my immediate supervisor to inquire and continued to get the "Wait and see" response, so I did just that. Finally, I asked for a meeting to discuss my worries and concerns, the hours were stacking up, the environment was no longer one that was conducive to my health all around and there were yet still no answers (by this time I had been there well over the required time). I decided it was time to reflect on my options and make the decision that was best for me, and that was to walk away. That wasn't something I wanted being that I had invested so much of myself into this job, yet it was something that needed to be done, so I put in my two weeks, revamped my resume, and by the grace of God and the blessing of opportunity I did find another position that was much more beneficial economically and environmentally. All that worrying I had subjected myself to did nothing for me but make matters worse. I had to remind myself of my self worth and use that as motivation to get back out there and make it happen. It took many years to realize the woman I am today, my purpose. Letting go of past angers and  hurt did me a world of good and genuinely I can say I feel better for it. No longer do  I carry the burden of the angst and sorrow that once was, no longer do I suffer sleepless nights, and no longer do I cry every holiday just to purposely make myself miserable. I know I have done all I can and its now in the hands of the lord. Not everyday I am a shining beam of sunshine but everyday I get up with my head held high in remembrance of that purpose driven little girl who grew up in Oceanside knowing there would be more for me. No weapon formed against me shall prosper and I forgive those who have caused me pain in hopes hat I am forgiven as well, for we all want to be forgiven by our King when it's all said and done.