I Don't Drink.... but sometimes I feel like I need a Smoke Break

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Living in the "Heartland" where people are completely heartless has been very hard and has taken a toll on my view of people in general. White privilege is socioeconomically clear here in the the Kansas City, Missouri metro area. It is located right next door to the state line of Kansas which enters a whole new world! I have been rejected and labeled and even denied jobs due to the color of my skin and my appearance. When I am looking for second job I don't even apply for front office administrative positions because I know I am not white nor a blonde or brunette. Although I am well overqualified for all the positions I apply for I am simply denied due to either name discrimination or I am just "not what they are looking for." I find that to be the funniest excuse of them all. Little do these companies know I am a Master Senior Editor and ghostwriter for a major publishing house and oversee 247 people everyday. I have government clearance and am a recent P.h.D graduate. 

When it comes to my own people I am an outcast. The black females out here feel I am not black enough and the males are cool, but just want to use me for whatever they think they can until I inform them I am married.

"If you're shattered, every piece of you that's on the floor he can restore........ he'll take you deeper, he'll give you a song." -Blanca (Christian Artist) 

The fact that I am still standing and thriving upsets some people. Thank you mother for blessing me with the resilience I know in my heart you passed along to me. Thank you for bringing me into this world and God bless you for looking out for me when I stared down the barrels of death and despair. I know you are an angel and have been 34 years. Now, you have your mother back with you and I know you two have mended any heartbreak and just want our family to acknowledge our truths, forgive and let go. I am not going to lie, I  have not let go of the hurt completely that has been bestowed upon me by your daughter and your sister, but God is working on me and I am closer to a true and ever lasting forgiveness. 

With God all things are possible!