There is NO GREATER LOVE than the love a parent has for their child. No matter the circumstance or the unfortunate happenings a piece of you will always be with that child and a piece of that child will always be with you. That is the only comfort I afford myself these days knowing that a large part of me is no longer a part of my day to day existence. Some days are easier than others but there is never a day that goes by where she is forgotten. I have to have faith and believe she knows inside herself that I love her. There is too much history there to just diminish the relationship.
I think the first step I have to take is to forgive her father the damage he has caused that can never be undone, time I can never get back, time I have lost with my daughter. I miss the simple things we used to do together. At night after her father would go to work I would hear the tip toe of her feet and peek into my door to watch Golden Girls with me. We would lay in bed and listen to music, it was usually Enya: The Essential Collection, or any Michael Buble, or Josh Groban. She has always been a special kid. She was interested in things other than social media and technology, all she wanted was to play games, read, and make her parents happy. All she wanted was love and I loved her more than I think she could handle. I was too rigid and I think that is where I went wrong on so many levels. If I could go back and change that I would, I'd do anything but I can't.
All I can do is live with the pain until she comes back to me. There is nothing I can do except continue my efforts of reason and live everyday to better myself to be an example for her
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