Isolation & RealizationsI

Today I spent the day alone. I got a lot done and even exceeded my steps, but I found myself slipping deeper and deeper into this  curse of bi-polar depression, It was beginning to take over my mind, souk body, and spirit. It was then I knew I had to take control of the situation and begin to count my blessings. I placed pen and paper in hand and began to write down every good thing in my life and every positive thing about myself. As I began to read the list back to myself, I couldn’t comprehend how I ever doubted my own self worth to the point of darkness with no light ahead. I then began to think of those who decide to end their lives because they dont’t/ and or can’t see the light that brought me back from the end of that ledge and Iwonder why some see it and others simply cannot. That is something we will never know, something we wish we could have a full understanding

Of. Mental illness carries a stigma of weakness, unable to “just get over it”someone who just wants to mope and whine about life all day, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Mental illness is as real of a medical condition as it gets. A lot of people do not know that Bi-Polar Depression is the #1 type of depression in successful suicides. Waking up living and functioning with this disease is a challenge but it is possible. If you are properly medicated and have a good team of medical professionals around you, you have a much higher chance of learning to live with the ups and owns and very extreme lows. Support from family and friends is a great thing too but can be tricky, You need to know who you can trust with such sensitive information and who you cant. There will be people in your life you will have to, as I say “Put on a shelf”. By saying so I am not stating that you discard them, just placing them in the correct category. You will have that small handful of people you can trust with this very complex area in your life, some you can talk to when you are just feeling down, and trust me we all need those good people in our lives who make us laugh, smile, and enjoy the small things. There will be those you may have to distance yourself from due to the nature of their toxicity in your life and I call those people the “Gone but not Forgotton” people On my shelf. Those are people who relish in your agony, you cannot trust them to keep it private, and they most certainly will influence you to do things you shouldn’t be when you are in the midst of your most vulnerable time. 

Mental illness is no joke. People of all backgrounds suffer from one form or another. So instead of making those afflicted feel even more isolated from the world, lets embrace the power of  love and acceptance and help fight for the cause and not against it. Big Pharma makes a lot of money off the backs of those who need this behavioral health care and we are nowhere near a system that works. As long as we don’t forget, the likelihood of better care and understanding will come much sooner than you think.