In the swing of life you never truly know what or who is going to come into your life and at what time. I decided in December that it was time for a change in mine. I do not make New Years Resolutions, I do not believe in them. I believe at any time you can choose to make a turnaround. I decided Instead of heavily relying on my eating disorder that I would focus on my health in a more productive and less harmful way. I am getting back to reading books that will be helpful and I have been getting out (alone) and doing things that actually make me happy and I truly enjoy.
You cant rely on people to make your life what you want it to be, that is up to you. I have learned that you cant catch a person when they fall when they would not do the same for you. Sometimes being alone or having one friend is what is best. I have a few people I snapchat with or may text that are female but I do have that one constant male friend who has been there an entire year. Its a friendship that is unconditional and I am grateful to have him as a friend. I cant even come close to saying that about my own "Family" that I was born into. They are so ass backwards I wouldn't know where to begin, They believed rumors that "he" began and judged based on no evidence. I am a very resilient strong willed individual and I know the difference between truth and a lie. I have no desire to prove anything to anyone because I know what is right and true.
In comes an angel..... who will (as always) remain nameless who has no idea how much he/she has changed my life, I am in awe. Who knew that good, decent people still existed? When I was in need of an angel, one appeared ;)
There is still good in the world; don't go seeking it and it shall come to you. I did not have the most guided upbringing but I know under the circumstances my grandmother did the best that she could and loved us in her way and for that I will forever be grateful. She had many moments, but I have so many memories of everyday things that allow me now, to sit here smiling, almost in tears because I am a lot like her, She may not have birthed me, but she was the only mother I knew and I wish things could've been more open but I love her and I hope she is with her parents and with her daughter. After losing her 2 weeks after my birth, I would say its long overdue. Grandma always said she wanted to see my brother and I old enough to live and take care of ourselves and we were at the time of her passing. Things may have occurred, our lives completely separated now, but speaking for myself only, I am my mothers daughter. I am resilient, strong, determined, and always ready. Peace and God are always with me.
At peace
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Simply Me :) |
Merry Christmas to me From Me! Paid In Full, No Car Payments! God is Good! |
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